One Word.....

STRUGGLING!

"Clean" eating...

I wanted to start today by trying out "clean" eating. I failed miserably! It really is kind of hard to eat "clean." The idea is to eat things in their truest and whole form. That means my favorite ice cream sandwich is OUT! Unfortunately, I still ate it :(

I need a base of "normal" recipes that encourage "clean" ingredients. My version of "normal" is, say, chicken salad (good old fashioned chicken salad) - not - Chicken Salad with honey roasted broccoli bits and capers! Ok, that recipe doesn't really exist but maybe you get my drift. "Clean" eating is tricky also because you can have all these fruits and veggies for snacking and at dinner. I had fruit alright...in my brat! Does Pineapple Bratwurst count for fruit? My guess is no. I don't mind eating fruits and veggies...not at all! I love them. I just can't see eating a plate of carrots for my dinner.

Beans are a great part of this as well. I don't know how or what to cook beans with! Pinto, Navy, Red, Kidney, help! I know chili beans are for chili and this is NOT chili weather. Baked beans don't count because they are so sugared up :( I love those, especially with the bacon.

Sometimes I just feel defeated:

Any suggestions, folks?

With all of this time and energy I use to research and look things up, you would think I would drop a few more pounds! Isn't all that kind of work worth something? ;)

I shall keep trying! Right now is a very new moment. Change can occur!

Revelation....

As most know, I have a hard time with my food intake. I love food! I eat when I'm bored, frustrated, lonely, happy, sad...ALL THE TIME! I enjoy the crunch of food. I love the taste of a lot of foods. I prefer to eat rather than do anything else (except hang out with friends!) My thoughts on food have been "I have to eat it all now!!!" Never can I stop at just one of anything. Even when completely stuffed I still want more.

Can I control it? Sure, to a point. I am smart enough and have enough self control to stop when necessary.

Do I always make the right choice among all the foods I choose? No!

Am I capable of it? Sure.

When I don't want to stop, I get mad at myself because I have to work so hard to not go back in the kitchen and eat the crap I don't need. Often I will get defensive and say to myself (sometimes I self-talk...don't you?!?), "everyone else can eat like this, why not me?" I KNOW EVERYONE DOESN'T, yet I seem to have talked myself into thinking that. I also go through a feeling of "nobody else around me has this problem!" I KNOW THAT TO BE FALSE AS WELL...as least I hope it is.

As I watched Giada de Laurentiis cook some really small tarts (that weren't that appealing to me), I came to a realization....rather....revelation! I don't need to eat everything I have in my kitchen all at one time! I will get another chance tomorrow to eat it as well :) By this I mean, I can make my dessert and have a small piece today. I am lucky enough to get another small piece tomorrow! How great!! It isn't just going to be snatched up and removed from my apartment without my knowledge. There is not a food monster that is going to eat it during the night. I can have some more tomorrow...as long as I can wait that long.

Can I wait until tomorrow?!? I sure hope so. If I can't then I need some serious brain retraining! I can wait two days if needed! It isn't like I will never, ever, ever get that food again. This to me seems like a no-brainer! Food just makes me feel so good...in the moment! I never feel good later! I either get a stomachache or I am bummed because I didn't say no!

My best friend always says how she loves certain days of the week. Friday is her "coffee" (caramel macchiato from QuikTrip) day. Sunday is her "I don't give a crap day." I can do this. I have already started with donut Friday. I only get a donut on Friday's (rather than everyday!) I mess up every now and again and get one on a Wednesday (early out days for my job, you know!). I have even started to change that and make it donut, payday Friday! I can choose to eat out only certain days of the week...like Friday or Saturday (or both ;)).

Stuff like this may seem like, duh...that won't be hard to do, but for me it feels like an uphill battle.

My issue with working out has never been an issue. I can exercise. I can move and do things. I am motivated by calories burned using my bodybugg device. Food is my struggle. I was not blessed with the "high metabolism" gene (thanks mom and dad). I am sure I will always have to work a little harder to lose and keep weight off. I will probably always have to work a little harder to say no to foods I don't need. It will be a battle, all out war, sometimes, but I will also have times where it won't be hard! I try to internalize that feeling so I can remember it when I am having a bad moment with food.

I am going to try and just say no! They need to teach "just say no" to food in elementary school! It worked with drugs...I've just said no to those!

Thanks for listening (rather reading) my mumbles. This is more for my ability to process through my food "stuff" then anything.

Here is to an evening of dinner and the ability to "just say no" to excessive amounts of food that I just don't need!

Oops...

So, I had good intentions of keeping a blog of my journey through fitness but have sort of failed. I am going to try again!

I wanted to post a recent run I did in St. Paul, MN! If you ever make it up there for Christmas Day I highly recommend this race. It was so fun and easy! It is called the Christmas Day-Joyful 5K. The race runs 2 times around Como Lake. It was so beautiful, but VERY COLD! My lips were numb and I needed a coat! I will be doing this race again next year. It is my new Christmas tradition. I also did the Jingle Jam again this year. It is in the South Side of Des Moines. The Jingle Jam is another of my favorites! You get to run through the Blank Park Zoo! I highly recommend that as well :) Folks, I am NOT a fast runner at all!!! I had a speed walker pass me! So get out there and walk one :)

The next race I am signed up for is the Amana Freezer Run.

I need help this year with the eating part of this journey. I feel like I have worked hard with exercise. Hopefully some inspiration will hit me like a brick when dealing with food :) I don't like to work to hard with food and can not afford all the "pricey" alternatives." I am hoping the Food Pyramid will help me....

Red Flannel Run!

I ran the RED FLANNEL RUN yesterday! It was really fun! I actually ran the entire time and beat my Jingle Jam time by a minute!!! I was pumped up! My official time was 39:17. I am getting ready for the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick run in the end of March. I hope to beat my time a little more. I am ok right now with around the 40 minute mark. Really I would like to work my way to 30 minutes. I know I can do it!

Anyone interested in joining me? I have fun. You can walk them, too! I don't have any pictures this time since I did it by myself and didn't have anywhere to put the camera when I started running :)

Yay!

So I have had the bodybugg for an entire week now and have diligently weighed my food and logged what I ate. Along with all of that, I have been working out and doing my exercise duties! Each Monday I have to weigh in and track that on my bodybugg site.

Today I logged and this week I lost..............

5 pounds!!!!! YAHOO!

Uff Dah!

SNOW DAY NUMBER 4!

I am thinking that if this is bothersome then summer should be interesting.

Anyone want to join a softball league with a very uncoordinated yet happy to play player???? (aka, me)

My bodybugg is on day 4 and going strong! It is so cool. If you are interested I can tell you more about it.

Have a great day today. I am heading to work even though we don't have to go.....